An Unexpected Study in Cliched Romance
by ghosttea
Summary: When Maria Duilach shows up in Middle Earth, she's dumbfounded for the first time in her life. But after being given the choice to join the cast of her favorite novel? She wouldn't give it up for the world. Little does she know, it won't go as she thinks it will. Kili/OC
1. Introduction

I wish I could say that I had a cooler origin story, I really do. A splitting pain in my side, death, something like that. Something dramatic and sort of... final about it. But no, my origin story is about as boring and clichéd as they come.

One day, about a week ago, I was walking through downtown Portland, OR.

The OR stands for Oregon, if you don't know. Sorry, I tend to go off on tangents a lot. It's a problem.

Anyways.

I was walking around downtown Portland. I was crossing Pioneer Square when there was a big flash of light and the ground beneath me kind of melted a bit. I remember falling and nothing after that until I woke up (presumably) several hours later.

Like I said, super boring origin story, I know. It's like something out of a 90s or early 2000s anime.

Oh, anime is sort of a cartoon thing from where I'm from. Moving pictures of people drawn with exaggerated features. It's kinda weird, I know. Pretty popular, though.

I should say who I am, huh? I'm Maria. Maria Duilach. I know, it's a weird last name. Apparently it's Scottish, which I'd explain but I really can't. My mum named me Maria because A. apparently it's a version of her grandma's name (Mairi, also Scottish) and B. apparently it can mean rebellion? I've only ever heard of it meaning things like loved or beloved, but that's just me.

Right, right, back to the origin story.

Like I said, I was walking through Pioneer Square when there was a big flash of light, I fell through the square itself, and then I remember falling a bit. When I woke up, I was in an inn of sorts. A middle-aged couple had found me somewhere in Chetwood and immediately brought me back to Bree, to their friend's inn. I don't remember any of this, this is just what they've told me.

Anyways, when I woke up I left the room I had been sleeping in and wandered around trying to figure out where I was until I ran into (figuratively) someone who worked for the innkeeper. They managed to find the innkeeper who immediately started asking where I was from. Nobody there had heard of Portland, OR. In fact, they thought I was a liar and perhaps a spy. A spy from where I don't know, but it took a solid day before they really started believing me. At that point they decided that they were very much out of their league with me and that they would need to counsel someone who was a tad bit wiser than they were.

So they took me to Rivendell, and that's where I've been ever since. Lord Elrond heard out my story, and while he treated it with skepticism, he does appear to be open-minded towards it.

See, now this is where the story gets really weird. Where I'm from, Lord Elrond is a fictional character - one that I've known of since I was... 6 years old at least. This entire place is fictional where I'm from. Bree, Chetwood, Rivendell, the whole thing. They all exist in a series of books by this guy named J.R.R. Tolkien. There's also a bunch of movies by this guy named Peter Jackson (movies are kinda like anime - moving pictures, but movies are more realistic than anime is). I've known these books my entire life. I can't count how many times I've read them or how many times I've seen these movies. Yet I've never read anything about a girl from another world suddenly appearing in Chetwood.

Lord Elrond is totally stumped about what to do with me. For the moment, I'm just staying here with him in Rivendell where I can't do any harm. Not like I'd be able to anyways - I'm not exactly a fighter. I was always more the scholarly type. I'm decent at throwing things (knives, javelins, I'm even decent at archery), I just don't think that I have what it takes to actually swing a sword at somebody or hack at somebody with an axe. I'd rather sit inside and read about it.

I've been here in Rivendell for a few days now. It doesn't seem like I'll ever be able to go home, not unless another bright flash of light and floor melting happens again. It wasn't exactly likely to happen the first time it did, so why would it happen another time? Unless Lord Elrond either figures out something to do with me or something pretty big happens, it looks like I'll live out the rest of my human life here in Rivendell.

* * *

**A/N**

**Obviously this first chapter is a bit on the short side; I'll update it again hopefully within the next day. I really wanted the first chapter to focus a lot on Maria and establish her a bit as a character at first. **

**I should probably clarify a few things: she's explaining what things like anime are because she's writing to people of Middle-earth. Naturally they have no idea what anime is. Thorin & Co. will be showing up in Rivendell in the next chapter. Like I said, I wanted to really focus on Maria as a character in the first chapter to give a really strong starting point. More will be revealed about her as time goes on when she interacts with other characters. **

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! Please review and whatnot. The next chapter will be quite a bit longer- I'm aiming for between 1500-2500 words. **


	2. Meeting the Dwarves

I awoke to shouts and to the galloping of horses. Hardly a pleasant way to wake up, but it peaked my curiosity. Rivendell was one of the most quiet and peaceful places I had ever been to.

"Good afternoon, Lady Duilach. Have you been sleeping all afternoon again?"

"Kinda?" To be fair, I had technically just come from an entirely different world. Transitions are rough. I think I deserved to sleep a bit more than usual.

"Lord Elrond wants you awake - apparently there's a group of ... unruly... visitors. He wants you to meet someone in their party."

"Wait... who does he want me to talk to, Amanthir? Is it one of the people who was shouting just a bit ago?"

"He's travelling with them. He wasn't one of the ones that was shouting - that would be the dwarves."

"Dwarves? Like, plural dwarves?" I asked. Surely dwarves didn't come to Rivendell in groups that often - the groups aren't exactly the best of friends.

It only just dawned on me that I didn't know at what point in time I had arrived in Middle-earth. As far as I knew, Frodo was here in Rivendell and a group of dwarves had just arrived to discuss the fate of the ring of power.

"Yes. Actually, you may have heard of one of them, given how much you seem to know about our world. Does Thorin Oakenshield sound familiar?"

"Holy shit Thorin Oakenshield just arrived."

HOLY SHIT

_**HOLY SHIT**_

Thorin Oakenshield is in Rivendell. Like, he's here in Rivendell. Which means that Bilbo is probably here. No, if Thorin is here then Bilbo is DEFINITELY here. God, and that means that Dwalin and Balin are here, along with Fili, Kili, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Oin, Gloin, Ori, Nori, and Dori. _Holy shit. _

"Elrond... wants me to talk to Gandal - err, Mithrandir, right?" I asked Amanthir. "About my whole arrival here and just everything that's happened?"

"Precisely."

"I'll go see him ASAP."

"Err... ASAP?"

"As soon as- y'know, what? Just don't question it. I'll be there really soon. Just gotta get dressed."

After about twenty minutes (do you have any idea how hard it is to pick out an outfit that will make a first impression on your favorite childhood bedtime story?), I practically ran through the various hallways and passageways and pathways of Rivendell. It dawned on me that I had absolutely no idea where Gandalf or Thorin & Co. would be. And while after several days of living in Rivendell I did know how to get around without many mishaps, I wasn't exactly able to guess where a gathering of 13 dwarves, a hobbit, a wizard, and Elrond would hang out.

"Whoa!"

While I had been looking around for Thorin & Co., I hadn't exactly been looking where I was going. I walked straight into some stranger who was now lying on the ground.

"Oh, I am so sorry! I really should've been watching where I was going-" I looked down and realized that the person who had fallen down was in fact a dwarf. He didn't exactly resemble any of the dwarves from the Peter Jackson film (though he was incredibly similar-looking), and he _definitely _didn't match Tolkien's description of any of the dwarves in the books.

"It's alright, I'm okay. I suppose you are the Miss Maria that my brother and I were sent to fetch?"

"Yes, I am. But, who might you be?"

"Fili, at your service. My brother-"

"Kili!"

"Huh? How did you know that...?"

"Oh, um, I heard that Thorin Oakenshield had come to Rivendell. I know that you and Kili are his nephews, so once you said who you were it was easy for me to name your only brother." That was a decent enough answer, I suppose. Elrond and I hadn't discussed whether or not my being from a different world was a secret or not yet. And in a way, that was the truth. I just happen to know that Fili and Kili are his nephews because of a book I read when I was very young. No need for me to mention that, right?

"Did I hear my name?" That must be Kili shouting.

"Over here, Kili!" Fili shouted. "I found the girl - Miss Maria - that Lord Elrond asked us to find."

"Splendid!"

Kili walked up to me, bowed slightly, and said ,"Kili, at your service."

I swear, it's like this was straight out of that Peter Jackson movie. I didn't' think they'd actually say "at your service" in real life.

Wait, was I supposed to introduce myself back? I have no idea what etiquette is like here.

"Um, Maria Duilach at yours," I said, curtsying.

"Duilach... that's a human name I've never heard before," said Kili. "Are you a human? You're pretty short for one, but you're not bearded enough to be a dwarf... in fact you're not bearded at all. And while I'm no expert on hobbits, you don't exactly resemble one."

"Oh - I'm a human, I suppose. I'm not really from around here, that's why I'm staying with Lord Elrond while I sort things out. There aren't elves or dwarves or anything really where I'm from. Just people."

"Really?" said Fili. "I've never heard of a place like that. Where exactly are you from?"

Before I could stutter out any sort of answer, we walked into what was apparently the meeting place of the group. It was an open area by a balcony overlooking much of Rivendell. Lord Elrond sat at the table's head, with Gandalf and Thorin seated nearby. The rest of the company filled the rest of the table, barring an empty seat close to Elrond that I assumed was for me.

I sat down as quickly as possible, hoping that if I did I'd be able to avoid answering Fili's question about where I'm from. "Lord Elrond, you sent for me?"

"Yes, Maria. This is Mithrandir, though you may know him as Gandalf the Gray. I want you to talk to him after dinner. However, for now, you should eat dinner. This here is Thorin Oakenshield," Elrond said, gesturing towards Thorin. "The rest of the group is Dwalin, Balin, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Ori, Nori, Dori, Bilbo Baggins, and you've already met Kili and Fili. Sirs, this is Miss Maria Duilach. She's been staying with me for the past several days. She's a kind of an expert on the history of Middle-earth."

I flushed quietly in my seat after nodding towards the dwarves. Is that how I'd be introducing myself for the rest of my life? Hi, I'm Maria and I know a lot about where we all live despite not really knowing anything at all.

* * *

**I'm sorry about how long it's taken for me to write this chapter. I've been stressing a lot about how to introduce Maria to the dwarves and such, so I just ended up going with what I think the most simple way for her to meet them was. **

**And while I realize that "oh, OF COURSE she'll run into Fili & Kili when she's looking for the dwarves when her love interest is (spoilers?) Kili" is an argument someone could make against this chapter, I'd like to point out that Fili and Kili get the grunt work in the company. They get to go watch the ponies, go fetch things, go scout ahead, that sort of thing. It makes sense that Elrond would have them go and find Maria. **

**Anyways, I hope you all had a lovely weekend! I'll try and update again within the next few days. It'd be awesome if you guys could review this. **


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